Excerpt: I just wish it were clear. I wish that I knew what happened. I wish that he didn't die alone and sad. I wish that he'd asked for help. Or that one of us had tried harder because there's nothing for it now.
I cannot imagine being so devastated, so lonely that death was the only solution. I can't imagine thinking that your problems are so bad that there is nothing better to do than go gentle into that long goodnight. I think there's a normal degree of sadness, but mostly suicide just seems so stupid and so selfish and weak. Rather than change the things that cause whatever misery you're in, ask for help. Rather than cause your whole family inconsolable grief, and your friends irrevocable guilt, ask for help. Suck up your pride and say: Hey, I'm not okay right now. This is what I need.
Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric 7 is sort of loosely themed around sex and sexuality. As always, writing about relationships sort of snuck in. There’s a letter to this boy I had a crush on and why it could never be, what I want from my next relationship, a piece about sex work/domination (and my experienced therein), teenage promiscuity (again, personal experiences and reflections), homo/bisexuality and queerness, and a few other short random pieces.
Excerpt: What we DID learn was how not to get pregnant and how not to catch an STD. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty scary message to pass on to a kid. If you have sex, you could get pregnant or contract syphilis. Period, end of story. To be fair, I don’t fault the educators. The curriculum is set by the people who fund it. But at the same time, answering our questions a little more honestly could only have helped, and I can’t imagine how things would have been changed if someone had taken me aside and talked to me frankly and honestly, no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassed we both might have been. I don’t regret any of my past sexual encounters. I learned a lot – about sex and about myself. If this path I’ve traveled makes the lessons I’ve learned easier for anyone else, I will be glad to have lived it.
Tazewell's Favorite Eccentric #5 is about the breakup of a long, important relationship, body issues, and how you don't always fall immediately out of love with your partner once the relationship is over.
Excerpt: I am in love with you. I love you. And I like you. You make me laugh and cry and cry and feel. And if everything in you wasn't completely right it would hopelessly overwhelm me. Sometimes it terrifies me, how vulnerable I feel to you sometimes. How hard I've worked to be sort of invulnerable, and how you topple that down with our crooked little smile or that funny hiccup laugh of yours."
Tazewell's Favorite Eccentric #4 is about living in a small town, body issues, sexual abuse, the death of my brother, a letter to an ex-friend, and a crush I had on someone outside of my relationship.
Podcast of an excerpt: http://www.fallofautumn.com/podcasts/20
These are $2.50 each via paypal (to piratesarah at gmail dot com) or $2 each via mail or fair perzine trade (please specify issue). Alternately, if you buy all 4 for $10, you get a copy of crushpuppy (my 24 hour zine of short love letters) and TFE 6 (which is a short collection of stuff I wrote in zines for high school.